Carpentry & Coding: Wait, what?

Alright, let’s get started!

Just look at the woodworking quality…, all made from junk.
  1. It should be always open, i.e., don’t build the doors.
  2. It should always have sunlight, i.e., Make sure the cupboard faces southeast ( because: geography )
  1. How many plants? : The number of plants decides the strength of the board, if your board is too strong, it’s too expensive, if it’s too weak it collapses.
  2. How tall are the plants? : This decides the number of stacks I can create.
  1. Always open: means that it should be able to go through the wear and tear of sunlight and rain.
  2. Watering the plants: This is will obviously cause some spillage, so the wood must be protected by a thin layer of water-resistant material.
  3. Plants have weight: The board must be strong enough to support a growing plant.

Phase 2: Let’s design!

  1. Picking a spot: I already have a sweet spot that faces southeast in my house, and while you would think location doesn’t matter in coding, it has two major impacts:
    i ) The farther the code is away from you, the slower it loads.
    ii ) All data is ultimately stored in a hard drive somewhere, so, in the final “rest” position for the data, you have to comply with the regulations of that country.
  2. It should always be open: Just don’t build the door lol. Coding-wise, you’d skip the security extensions.
    Dumb idea in both cases? Yes.
    Is it required this way? Yes.
    But, Samridh, you’re building this in your house that’s already secured by a gate & a front door; the same thing doesn’t apply to code! Well, it does, if you write a code inside a VPN, it will not have access to the outside world.
  3. How many & how tall are the plants? : Just ask mom lol. In coding, just ask the client how many users they expect. Nothing has infinite scalability. The system/cupboard would get more complicated as you add more and more tall plants.
    From the customer perspective, you can ask the engineer, how many users can this system handle at X cost assuming they using it for Y hours?
  4. Weather resistance: The whole cupboard is going to be exposed to sunlight, rain, and cold, so we need to find a type of wood that can survive that kind of abuse. ( Spoiler: it’s your kitchen dining table ). Similarly, you’d want the right kind of machine to be running your code, so that it can handle the abuse the user is going to throw at it.
  5. Plant weight: The plant is going to provide a load to the board, so both the board and its support system should be able to handle it. Similarly, your machine & code should be able to handle multiple users at the same time, without any latency.
  6. The final structure: The cupboard you will put together should be rigid, strong & obeying the laws of physics while costing you as little as possible. Similarly, the code you write should also be working, able to handle load & obey the laws of computing while costing you as little as possible.

Phase 3: Let’s go get the parts!

  1. Wooden board ( preferably made of the same material as dining tables )
  2. Some rectangular blocks of wood to support those boards.
  3. Some screws to hold the supporting blocks in place.
  4. Some wall grips to screw into.
I didn’t take a picture at the junkyard and instead took this picture at home where we have scrap wood🤣
Choosing the server that’s marked free*, because… budget.

Phase 4: The tools

Adding a drill bit in the drill without its fastener ( don’t do this! )
Inhaling the dust from the drilled concrete.
My IDE auto-predicting what I would want to type ( helps me avoid tedious spelling mistakes )
My CI server doing my job for me. Thanks.

Phase 5: Actually building the thing

Phase 6: Testing the thing

Super legit testing.
So graph. Much wow.

Phase 7: Done!




A computer engineer, with a passion for cheap, affordable & environmentally friendly automation and utter disdain for paperwork and waiting.

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Samridh Tuladhar

Samridh Tuladhar

A computer engineer, with a passion for cheap, affordable & environmentally friendly automation and utter disdain for paperwork and waiting.

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